I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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