i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
