So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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