yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize