He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My day in three words: secret purse cake
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
