oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
