All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So squirting runs in the family.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
