So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
