so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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