I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
