Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize