Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
