ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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