My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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