Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
