piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
