it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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