Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
