Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
