Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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