I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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