he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
