Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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