don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
