Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
