Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special

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(636): View more from Missouri

FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.

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(303): View more from Colorado

It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...

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(501): View more from Arkansas

we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"

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(415): View more from California

i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again

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(973): View more from New Jersey

when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"

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(512): View more from Texas

im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.

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(708): View more from Illinois

"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"

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