Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
