True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
