He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
should my penis look like a turkey
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
