He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize