When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
