What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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