just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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