True but thats because hes a fetus.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
