and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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