It's like God shit irony all over that family
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
