Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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