My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
