I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
