My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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