I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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