if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
