butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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