You're so nebulous sometimes
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
