Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
