I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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