i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
