Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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