look no pants
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
