But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
