Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
