remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
