He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I touched a dick in church today
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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