doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
