Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
