I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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