I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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