Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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