The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
