no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
