I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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