i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
