Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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