plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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