The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
